Reclaiming the Pleasure Dome

Reclaiming the Pleasure Dome

Pleasure First

We’re not socially conditioned to put pleasure as a priority in our lives. We’re conditioned to obey authority, work long hours, waste our money on material things we think will make us happy, and we’re conditioned to squelch our natural primal sexual desires. However, putting pleasure first, especially our sexual pleasure, keeps us vibrantly alive and in our full power. Being in touch with our “Pleasure Dome” keeps us in successful relationships with our partners, as well as ourselves.

We’ve been taught to believe that sexual pleasure is taboo, bad, sinful and something we just don’t freely talk about. We’re offered a bare minimum, inadequate or even medically incorrect sex education in middle school, then left to figure it out on our own as we haphazardly make our way through romantic relationships, partnerships, marriages, separations and divorces. In the ancient days of some cultures, young men and women were schooled in the art of sex and how to pleasure themselves and their partners. It’s a shame the art of giving and receiving pleasure has been lost in the western culture; especially since being fully expressed sexually keeps us happy, loving and living a life that is radiantly vibrant.

And here’s a nugget of awakening: It’s an absolute myth that sexual pleasure stops at a certain age and that as we get older we’re no longer sexually vital or attractive with our wrinkles, age spots and sagging skin.

Pleasure in the Middle Ages & Beyond

Yes, it’s true that our parts don’t function quite as sharply as they did when we were younger. But, three of the most important aspects of arousal as we age are anticipation, mindfulness and presence. We can also pleasure our lover through touch, taste and creative exploration with no expectations other than the allowing of the giving and receiving of nurturance. The most important thing to remember is to remain playful and open to discovering or re-discovering what feels good as we embrace our aging sexuality.

We can experience hot sexual pleasure for the rest of our lives, with or without a partner, as long as we stay healthy, maintain a sexy attitude by owning our sexuality, and keep open communication with our lovers. In fact, sex is sort of like an anti-aging activity; the more sex we have, the more sexually vibrant we become. Like a good, fine wine, sex can be more satisfying and we can become more adventurous in our explorations of our sexuality as we age.

Exploring the Pleasure Dome

Some may finally feel free to explore and experiment in “rooms” of the Pleasure Dome they had been afraid to venture into or never knew existed at an earlier age. As the saying goes, “with age comes wisdom” and that applies to our sexuality as well. With our aging sexual wisdom comes the understanding that our aging bodies arouse differently. If you’re only playing in one area of your Pleasure Dome, try expanding your sexual expression and become fluent in areas you’ve never considered exploring. Experiment and get your pleasure on!

Tune in and discover what pleasures you or you and your lover. Stretch the boundaries by adding fantasy and sensation play, erotica or kink. Self-pleasure yourselves with each other. Build anticipation by exploring the senses of taste, sound, touch, sight, and smell. Be daring, though discreet, and have sex outside surrounded by nature. Make delicious foods for you and your lover and sensually feed each other. Read or write your own erotic poetry and share with your lover. And, of course, it can be super fun to add new toys to your “pleasure cave” adventures. With toys, don’t forget a good water-based lube!

Find something that relaxes you/your lover such as decadent baths or massages together. Relaxation fosters confidence and comfort and can help with both erectile dysfunction and dryness issues. Also, giving and receiving without any agenda of orgasm is a delicious experience of pure pleasure. The options are truly limitless.

So, join me in the new revolution of sexual healing and erotic freedom! Declare for yourselves a rebirthing, reawakening and reclaiming of your access to full, unabashed, sexual freedom to live a life filled with more pleasure, more sex, and more love!

© 2020 bethlovemore

Busting Through the Patriarchal Chains to Sexual Freedom

“Sexuality is a superpower. Our attractions and repulsions, sexual signals and links, hopes and disappointments go through all of society like a nervous system, permeating every office, every shopping mall, every art exhibition, every conference, every group, every company, every political party. The healing of sexuality is perhaps the most revolutionary step in the present healing work after thousands of years of suppression and neglect.”

Photo by Wryn & Jefry

There are so many beautiful “rooms” in the Pleasure Dome that have been hidden to us by society’s patriarchal conditioning that sexual pleasure is dirty, forbidden, sinful and taboo. But, this is the thing…sexual pleasure is our birthright. At our core, as my teacher and mentor Jaiya has so eloquently expressed, “we are erotically sophisticated beings and our bodies are our instruments of pleasure,” yet most of us do not fully understand how to play our own instrument nor how to instruct our partners on how to do so.

A true understanding of the power of the primordial creative force of our sexuality has been kept from us by the patriarchal religions as a means of domination and control. When we are deeply connected to the sacredness of our sexuality and living a fully sex-expressed life, all areas of our life are affected in a profoundly powerful way. When we are connected to and own our full sexuality, we are living a life filled with vitality, power, pleasure, joy, sovereignty, and most of all, deep love for ourselves and humanity.

Here’s to humanity’s reconnecting to the source of our true power, breaking through the chains of society’s conditioning, and creating a world where everyone is accepted and feels as though they belong. Let freedom ring.

“Chains…each link is connected…creating strength and resilience to withstand the impending….granting a since of freedom…” ~Jefry

*If you’re ready to experience a deep and profound love of yourself and reconnect to your full access to pleasure, it would be my honor to assist you in rediscovering your “Pleasure Dome.” Reach out to me at and we’ll create an action plan for you.

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What Kind of Lover Are You?

During these challenging times, it is more important than ever to keep our body, mind and spirits healthy and well with as much pleasure and vitality as possible. As we are facing the uncertainty of the unknown in our isolation, we are being given the opportunity for deepening the pleasure connection with ourselves and with our partners. Most of us have been so busy being busy that we have flat out lost our connection to our bodies or don’t know how to ask for what we want in the bedroom. No more taboo. As we move into creating new paradigms, It’s time for us all to have what we deserve around our sexuality.

What kind of lover are you? Do you know? Did you know that we all have our own personal erotic blueprint that determines how we like to be fed in our sexuality? The 5 primary Erotic Blueprints™ are: Energetic, Sensual, Sexual, Kinky and Shapeshifter. The power of learning the Erotic Blueprints™ is that we get to honor ourselves and our partners by learning what best feeds our own personal blueprints. Take the quiz here to find out what your Erotic Blueprint™ is.

In the Erotic Blueprint™ Breakthrough Course, we get to deep dive into a powerful exploration around what our primary Erotic Blueprint™ is and look at how we can heal it and expand into other blueprints; giving us access to pleasure portals we may not have known existed. Whether you’re single or in a relationship, the Erotic Blueprint™ Breakthrough Course is a game-changer in deepening your relationships and living a life filled with pleasure. To enroll in this life-changing program, click here.

Join me in the new revolution of sexual healing and erotic freedom and rewaken your access to pleasure!